by Janine Nicole Dennis | Mar 31, 2015 | Featured, Life
Image courtesy of LiveLifeHappy.com
Series Introduction
Every year, I like to find a different way of celebrating my favorite day: my birthday. Since I am turning 32 next month (I know…awww…), I’ve decided to share 32 revelations I have had during the course of my life about everything from life in general to business. Think of it as daily inspiration for you and therapy for me. It is a challenge for me, because I don’t think I have ever published a post everyday in the entire existence of The Aristocracy of HR. Plus, I recognize that while I am fairly generous in sharing on social media and here, I have only just scraped the surface on sharing who I am when I’m not pontificating how HR and Business can do better. Let’s use the month of March to get to know one another better. I hope at the end of the month, you walk away with something you can use in your own life or business.
Day 22 of 31-Growth and Imperfection
When I look back at what I have shared so far, I realized that it is a testament to growth, imperfection, and limitations. I promised you 31 days of me and you got 22 days. A little dishonest, perhaps- but it wasn’t on purpose. I aimed for 31 days until I realized that doing this would mean two things:
1) I would be writing 7 days a week. Which after writing 5 days per week I was completely drained and needed recharge. I’m an introvert and this is what happens. Not an excuse, but the truth.
2) I was also participating BlogHer’s March NaBloPoMo challenge. They only require writing Monday through Friday. In other words, I would have been doing more than what was required or truthfully needed.
Here’s what I have learned:
There are limits to how much I can share of myself. I had an idea, I shared, I discussed and realized some limitations in the interim, but most importantly I showed up. I did the best I could. I am imperfectly, limited and growing through my work, life and all the experiences in between. I know where I’ve been and how it informs who I am today. I have some ideas of who and what I want to be in the future; but recognize that even that vision has limitations. My roots are deep and my branches are growing in many different directions. That is after-all both the mystery and zest of life.
I hope you have taken away nuggets from this series that you can use in your own life. That was my sole intention and if I accomplished at least that- nothing else matters.
In case you missed any of the posts in the series, here is a comprehensive list of them all:
31 Days, 32 Revelations: Time
31 Days, 32 Revelations: Living With Purpose
31 Days, 32 Revelations: The Distraction of Ignorance
31 Days, 32 Revelations: Silent Sentinel
31 Days, 32 Revelations: A Little Bit of Faith
31 Days, 32 Revelations: A World of Dishonesty
31 Days, 32 Revelations: Green-Eyed Bandits
31 Days, 32 Revelations: Digital Snobbery
31 Days, 32 Revelations: Chin Up, Dear!
31 Days, 32 Revelations: Blossoming In Time
31 Days, 32 Revelations: Knowing When To Move On
31 Days, 32 Revelations: What Checks and Balances?
31 Days, 32 Revelations: Playing The Game Is Played Out
31 Days, 32 Revelations: Ask Questions Even If It Kills You
31 Days, 32 Revelations: Innovation Ego
31 Days, 32 Revelations: Life Data
31 Days, 32 Revelations: Striving For Quality of Life
31 Days, 32 Revelations: Happily Different
Czarina’s Lesson: Growth is a journey not a destination.
by Janine Nicole Dennis | Mar 27, 2015 | Ask Czarina, Featured, Random Fun
Series Introduction
Every year, I like to find a different way of celebrating my favorite day: my birthday. Since I am turning 32 next month (I know…awww…), I’ve decided to share 32 revelations I have had during the course of my life about everything from life in general to business. Think of it as daily inspiration for you and therapy for me. It is a challenge for me, because I don’t think I have ever published a post everyday in the entire existence of The Aristocracy of HR. Plus, I recognize that while I am fairly generous in sharing on social media and here, I have only just scraped the surface on sharing who I am when I’m not pontificating how HR and Business can do better. Let’s use the month of March to get to know one another better. I hope at the end of the month, you walk away with something you can use in your own life or business.
Day 20 of 31- 32 Fun Facts About Me
I can’t thank you all enough for reading, commenting and following this series. I was a little hesitant about switching gears, but I must say I am happy I did. The outpouring of support has been tremendous.
The day that has made this all possible has arrived. I am happy to announce that my 32nd birthday is today. Woohoo! I love celebrating my birthday. I started my day with reflection and giving thanks to the big man upstairs for another year of life.
In honor of my birthday, I am sharing 32 fun facts that you probably don’t know about me. I hope you enjoy them.
Here you go…
1) I am a Hofstra University Alumni.
2) When I started college, I was a Biochemistry Major with a minor in Spanish.
3) I initially planned to major in Biochemistry because I wanted to become a Forensic Pathologist.
4) In high school, I was in my school’s Intel Program. My project was: The Mutagenesis of Poliovirus and Picornavirus
5) My first job was working as a waitress for a catering hall in a Jewish Temple.
6) I was part of Macy’s TapMania – it was an event that got 5,600 tap enthusiasts of all ages together in an effort to break the Guiness Book of Records for largest tap dancing event.
7) I played the Alto Saxophone in junior high school and high school. I was in both the marching band and jazz band.
8) I really wanted to play the Soprano Saxophone, because my idol, Kenny G played it- but had to settle for the Alto because that’s all the school had.
9) I read in two languages other than English- Spanish and Portuguese. I can speak Spanish and am emerging in Portuguese.
10) I am of Guyanese and Trinidadian descent.
11) I have a West-Indian accent, but it only comes out when I’m around other West- Indians.
12) When I was younger, I used to steal my mom’s black eyeliner to draw on a beauty mark, so I could look like Cindy Crawford.
13) My favorite colors are: teal and hot pink.
14) I love rollercoasters and any thrill rides. I will scream like a baby, but there is no keeping me away from thrill rides,
15) I’m a Walking Dead fan.
16) My favorite cartoons growing up were: Jem, Looney Tunes, Darkwing Duck, Duck Tales and the Smurfs.
17) I am a trained belly dancer. I was part of a troupe called Fem Fire for three years.
18) I was once on a daytime show called: Living It Up With Ali and Jack. I was one of the models during their teeth whitening segment.
19) I’m a Cooking Channel fanatic. If I am left to my devices on the weekend, I can watch it all day.
20) Speaking of cooking, I love to cook and bake. It’s a labor of love and my happy place. Check out my chops on Instagram.
21) I am the eldest of two kids in my family. I have a younger brother.
22) My favorite sport is: football.
23) I am a diehard NY Giants fan.
24) I played Tennis in high school.
25) My favorite movie is: The Sweetest Thing
26) I was a tomboy growing up. From hopping in creeks to playing crash dummies on bikes, it wasn’t all about dolls and dress-up for me.
27) I love expressing myself through fashion and makeup. It makes me feel great.
28) I was born in Queens, NY.
29) My favorite genre of music is: Soca
30) I have been known to fall asleep standing up.
31) I was probed to start blogging based on my tweets.
32) I love Philosophy and believe in my previous life I sat on a rock extolling the virtues of life and other phenomenon. My favorite philosophers are: Rene Descartes, Kant and Socrates.
I hope you enjoyed these fun facts about me. Share a fun fact about yourself in the comments. Now for a musical outro with 50 Cent.
https://youtu.be/_E2w5HiNtic
by Janine Nicole Dennis | Mar 25, 2015 | Featured, Life
Image courtesy of DesignUrge.com
Series Introduction
Every year, I like to find a different way of celebrating my favorite day: my birthday. Since I am turning 32 next month (I know…awww…), I’ve decided to share 32 revelations I have had during the course of my life about everything from life in general to business. Think of it as daily inspiration for you and therapy for me. It is a challenge for me, because I don’t think I have ever published a post everyday in the entire existence of The Aristocracy of HR. Plus, I recognize that while I am fairly generous in sharing on social media and here, I have only just scraped the surface on sharing who I am when I’m not pontificating how HR and Business can do better. Let’s use the month of March to get to know one another better. I hope at the end of the month, you walk away with something you can use in your own life or business.
Day 18 of 31- Happily Different
People that have known me my entire life or the better portion of my life will usually have one thing to say about me consistently. That thing is: “I am wise beyond my years or as one of my dearest friends says “I was grown from the gate.” I have always had sensibilities, knowledge and common sense about things that were beyond what most would expect from someone my age. Perhaps it is a gift or maybe I have been here before if you believe in that kind of thing. I will say this- it is a sort of purgatory that you live in when you are like me. On the one hand, you think, do and say things that no one else in your age group is prepared for and that can cause you to be alienated or misunderstood by people when you are younger.
As a child, I was never friendless, but I think I was an enigma to many and slightly off-putting. As an adolescent and young adult, I infuriated many older people in my life because I was often reasoning and thinking about things on a level that they weren’t able to being 10, 20, 30 years older than me. Even now as I approach my 32nd birthday this week, I find my way of thinking is an acquired taste.
That said, what is abundantly clear to me is being wise beyond my years really just boils down to me being different. I have been happily different for the better part of my existence (sometimes less or more so- I’m human). However, I never cared if people thought I was a nerd or lame, because I was smart. I couldn’t care less when kids had jokes, because I was wearing blazers in the fifth grade when others were wearing well- kids clothes. I’m the gal that hears fun when someone says quirky- I dig unique people. Just the other day, my mom was at my house and I was playing some Afro-Beat tunes and she exclaimed” “what are you listening to?” I simply replied: “Music.”
When I look around, I see a lot of duplicates- people of all ages lost in the sauce and losing the very things that make them unique. It’s sad to watch, because they are essentially crushing the divine gifts they have been given to conform to fads, standards, and trends that are constantly evolving and changing. My message for today is embrace what makes you different. Sure it might be uncomfortable at times when everyone else is copying and keeping up appearances, but think about how free you will feel.
Czarina’s Lesson: I’d rather walk alone in my uniqueness than in a crowd as a clone.
Are you like me? I want to hear from the old souls, quirky, crazy, upside-down thinkers. Let’s celebrate what makes you different.
by Janine Nicole Dennis | Mar 19, 2015 | Advice, Career, Featured, Life
Image courtesy of Flickr.com
Series Introduction
Every year, I like to find a different way of celebrating my favorite day: my birthday. Since I am turning 32 next month (I know…awww…), I’ve decided to share 32 revelations I have had during the course of my life about everything from life in general to business. Think of it as daily inspiration for you and therapy for me. It is a challenge for me, because I don’t think I have ever published a post everyday in the entire existence of The Aristocracy of HR. Plus, I recognize that while I am fairly generous in sharing on social media and here, I have only just scraped the surface on sharing who I am when I’m not pontificating how HR and Business can do better. Let’s use the month of March to get to know one another better. I hope at the end of the month, you walk away with something you can use in your own life or business.
Day 14 of 31- Ask Questions
Questions are more important than we give it credit. In the past I have accepted salary offerings and never once asked if there was room to go higher. My lack of confidence and inability to live with the temporary discomfort that would come as a result of asking for more money cost me thousands of dollars in earnings over the course of my career. A lack of questions is damaging as it leads people to think we are satisfied or even happy with a set of circumstances when we aren’t questioning things. When I didn’t negotiate or ask for raises it gave my superiors a false sense of comfort that I was happy and even satisfied with my work and compensation. By the time, I went to have a serious discussion about my salary they were acted as if I ambushed them with my seemingly out-of-the-blue concerns. I have learned over the years that you get what you ask for. People who negotiate and ask for what they want-usually get it.
The real issue with asking questions isn’t necessarily the question itself, but the answer. There is a fear that the answer may not favor our initial intention of asking the question. No one wants to be seen as a fool or have a request rejected. As such, we sit in silence never knowing what could have been if we only had the courage to simply ask for what we want. When I finally learned the value of a question, things were revealed to me that I wouldn’t have known otherwise . This new knowledge helped me to drive decisions regarding my life and career. When I had enough guts to ask for what I wanted, I was told “no” which pushed me to keep working towards my goals. However, in 50% or more of these instances, I got exactly what I asked for.
That journey to figuring out my purpose that I discussed earlier in the series has only been made possible because I have been asking lots and lots of questions of myself and others the past few years. I see questions as my foundation and the answers as the sails that are steering my ship.
What about you? What sorts of questions are you asking these days to evaluate your life, career, etc?
Czarina’s Lesson: Even if the answer is “no” there is something to be learned and/or gained from asking for what you want.
by Janine Nicole Dennis | Mar 18, 2015 | Advice, Ask Czarina, Business, Featured, Women in Business, Women's Rights
Image courtesy of Pinterest
Series Introduction
Every year, I like to find a different way of celebrating my favorite day: my birthday. Since I am turning 32 next month (I know…awww…), I’ve decided to share 32 revelations I have had during the course of my life about everything from life in general to business. Think of it as daily inspiration for you and therapy for me. It is a challenge for me, because I don’t think I have ever published a post everyday in the entire existence of The Aristocracy of HR. Plus, I recognize that while I am fairly generous in sharing on social media and here, I have only just scraped the surface on sharing who I am when I’m not pontificating how HR and Business can do better. Let’s use the month of March to get to know one another better. I hope at the end of the month, you walk away with something you can use in your own life or business.
Day 13 of 31- Playing The Game Is Played Out
I just read this story about actress and comedian Mo’Nique speaking about how she was blackballed in Hollywood after having success in the movie “Precious”. Director, Lee Daniels expressed that Mo’Nique hurt her self during the course of the Precious production by “making unreasonable demands and not playing the game”. As far as I’m concerned, she may have been “unreasonable” or even difficult. What I take issue with is the fact that the game isn’t the same for everyone. She was not and will not be the last difficult celebrity to grace a movie stage. Difficult and unreasonable demands of movie stars on set is the kind of fodder that lines tabloids daily. The difficulty doesn’t stop Hollywood from spending millions of dollars supporting projects with some of these people.
This story line is no different to what goes on in Corporate America everyday. I recall just a few years ago being discouraged from filing an EEO claim by an HR person who cautioned me to “play the game”. I even recall women executives in meetings setting women’s suffrage back several decades by giggling, twirling their hair and flirting through negotiations. My question is: what is the game? Is the game that you “shut up, smile and look pretty” as actress Sheryl Lee Ralph suggests? Why is the advice to women in 2015 that we should bat our eyes, smile when we are displeased and not be heard? If the game is about brown-nosing and/or keeping up appearances, I am out.
I’m not suggesting you have outbursts like a child when the spirit moves you ; but a person should be able to demand and communicate needs and wants without it being tied back to some facade you have to keep up to get ahead. It should be the case that any women can show up to the boardroom or the set as she is. We shouldn’t have to apologize for who we are and why we want what we want, Men do it all the time and don’t have to perform in the manner that we are expected to as women.
Who knows? Mo’Nique could very well have been terrible to work with. I just wished we lived in a society that treated like instances equally. In this case, that would mean blackballing every actor or actress that is difficult. The truth is money is spent on people that are liked, can bring in revenue and “look” and “act” the part. I wasn’t that person when I worked in Corporate America and Mo’Nique isn’t that for Hollywood unfortunately,
Czarina’s Lesson: There are limits to equality and fairness where money is the primary concern.
