by Janine Nicole Dennis | Mar 25, 2015 | Featured, Life
Image courtesy of DesignUrge.com
Series Introduction
Every year, I like to find a different way of celebrating my favorite day: my birthday. Since I am turning 32 next month (I know…awww…), I’ve decided to share 32 revelations I have had during the course of my life about everything from life in general to business. Think of it as daily inspiration for you and therapy for me. It is a challenge for me, because I don’t think I have ever published a post everyday in the entire existence of The Aristocracy of HR. Plus, I recognize that while I am fairly generous in sharing on social media and here, I have only just scraped the surface on sharing who I am when I’m not pontificating how HR and Business can do better. Let’s use the month of March to get to know one another better. I hope at the end of the month, you walk away with something you can use in your own life or business.
Day 18 of 31- Happily Different
People that have known me my entire life or the better portion of my life will usually have one thing to say about me consistently. That thing is: “I am wise beyond my years or as one of my dearest friends says “I was grown from the gate.” I have always had sensibilities, knowledge and common sense about things that were beyond what most would expect from someone my age. Perhaps it is a gift or maybe I have been here before if you believe in that kind of thing. I will say this- it is a sort of purgatory that you live in when you are like me. On the one hand, you think, do and say things that no one else in your age group is prepared for and that can cause you to be alienated or misunderstood by people when you are younger.
As a child, I was never friendless, but I think I was an enigma to many and slightly off-putting. As an adolescent and young adult, I infuriated many older people in my life because I was often reasoning and thinking about things on a level that they weren’t able to being 10, 20, 30 years older than me. Even now as I approach my 32nd birthday this week, I find my way of thinking is an acquired taste.
That said, what is abundantly clear to me is being wise beyond my years really just boils down to me being different. I have been happily different for the better part of my existence (sometimes less or more so- I’m human). However, I never cared if people thought I was a nerd or lame, because I was smart. I couldn’t care less when kids had jokes, because I was wearing blazers in the fifth grade when others were wearing well- kids clothes. I’m the gal that hears fun when someone says quirky- I dig unique people. Just the other day, my mom was at my house and I was playing some Afro-Beat tunes and she exclaimed” “what are you listening to?” I simply replied: “Music.”
When I look around, I see a lot of duplicates- people of all ages lost in the sauce and losing the very things that make them unique. It’s sad to watch, because they are essentially crushing the divine gifts they have been given to conform to fads, standards, and trends that are constantly evolving and changing. My message for today is embrace what makes you different. Sure it might be uncomfortable at times when everyone else is copying and keeping up appearances, but think about how free you will feel.
Czarina’s Lesson: I’d rather walk alone in my uniqueness than in a crowd as a clone.
Are you like me? I want to hear from the old souls, quirky, crazy, upside-down thinkers. Let’s celebrate what makes you different.
by Janine Nicole Dennis | Mar 23, 2015 | Featured, Society and HR
Image courtesy of Brainy Quote
Series Introduction
Every year, I like to find a different way of celebrating my favorite day: my birthday. Since I am turning 32 next month (I know…awww…), I’ve decided to share 32 revelations I have had during the course of my life about everything from life in general to business. Think of it as daily inspiration for you and therapy for me. It is a challenge for me, because I don’t think I have ever published a post everyday in the entire existence of The Aristocracy of HR. Plus, I recognize that while I am fairly generous in sharing on social media and here, I have only just scraped the surface on sharing who I am when I’m not pontificating how HR and Business can do better. Let’s use the month of March to get to know one another better. I hope at the end of the month, you walk away with something you can use in your own life or business.
Day 16 of 31- Life Data
There’s a lot of talk about pay equality, race equality, women’s rights etc. Equally, I feel that the rhetoric against equality on all of these fronts is increasingly divisive and disrespectful. Additionally, there is something to be said for what goes unsaid, because that too is an answer. Those that read my posts regularly know I don’t shy away from the tough subjects. I have tackled everything from Sheryl Sandberg’s “Ban Bossy” campaign to “Race Relations in the Workplace”. Each time, I learn a little more about the moral paradigm the U.S operates under.
When I called the NYPD out for not dealing with their race issues, I got responses like: “black people are always complaining” or “black people commit most crimes and if they didn’t situations like Ferguson wouldn’t happen.” When I talked about how I thought Sheryl Sandberg’s “Ban Bossy” and “Lean-In” campaigns were short-sighted, I had a man tell me that “there is no such thing as pay inequity.” In all of these instances, I shared my experiences. The comments and moderate backlash is not something I take personally, but I do have a problem when people confuse “experience” and “opinion”.
If I say I have never experienced being discriminated against, but offer up some thoughts based on what I think being discriminated against is like- that is an opinion. If I have worked in Corporate America as a black woman and been passed up for promotions and paid less than my white counterparts- that my friends is a bonafide experience. It is something I would like to call “life data”. No, it hasn’t been incubated and studied with a proper sampling, controls and variables aligned. However, it is something I have experienced and have unofficially corroborated with other black females across the country in similarly situated positions and everything in between. That said, I have every right to speak about these issues.
We have become so excitable about data and proof, that we forget that even one instance of any event serves as some proof that something has occurred. When we are faced with employee complaints or claims in an organization, they are often singular instances of issues that are dealt with on a case-by case basis. It is those individual complaints that often times lead to larger narratives that have to be investigated. If we were to discount the experience of individuals until we had a collection of people coming forward with the same issue- we would:
1) Be dealing with bigger issues because the employee would probably sue or file an outside claim.
2) We would be catching a problem far too late to the detriment of both the workforce and company.
We have gotten very good at discounting the experiences of others in this country. The sentiment is if it’s not happening to me or anyone I know- it isn’t a problem. While I will agree that some of us humans have a completely skewed and screwed up way of viewing the world, even that phenomenon is life data. Everyday we open our eyes and interact in the world, provides experiences that become data we use to inform our decisions in life.
I tell you all of this to say, I am sick and tired of people telling me and others that what we see and experience isn’t real or is at a minimum “a humble opinion”. Until you have walked a day in another person’s shoes, you have no frame of reference. It is not reasonable to swap their experiences out for your sloppy opinion.
The individuals who risked making the comments above forgot to arm themselves with data. I am happy to note that I didn’t go commando, but instead reminded them of the facts using data; I haven’t heard from them since. Poof be gone!
Czarina’s Lesson: Your lack of experience and understanding, isn’t a reason for me to be both silent and blind.
by Janine Nicole Dennis | Mar 19, 2015 | Advice, Career, Featured, Life
Image courtesy of Flickr.com
Series Introduction
Every year, I like to find a different way of celebrating my favorite day: my birthday. Since I am turning 32 next month (I know…awww…), I’ve decided to share 32 revelations I have had during the course of my life about everything from life in general to business. Think of it as daily inspiration for you and therapy for me. It is a challenge for me, because I don’t think I have ever published a post everyday in the entire existence of The Aristocracy of HR. Plus, I recognize that while I am fairly generous in sharing on social media and here, I have only just scraped the surface on sharing who I am when I’m not pontificating how HR and Business can do better. Let’s use the month of March to get to know one another better. I hope at the end of the month, you walk away with something you can use in your own life or business.
Day 14 of 31- Ask Questions
Questions are more important than we give it credit. In the past I have accepted salary offerings and never once asked if there was room to go higher. My lack of confidence and inability to live with the temporary discomfort that would come as a result of asking for more money cost me thousands of dollars in earnings over the course of my career. A lack of questions is damaging as it leads people to think we are satisfied or even happy with a set of circumstances when we aren’t questioning things. When I didn’t negotiate or ask for raises it gave my superiors a false sense of comfort that I was happy and even satisfied with my work and compensation. By the time, I went to have a serious discussion about my salary they were acted as if I ambushed them with my seemingly out-of-the-blue concerns. I have learned over the years that you get what you ask for. People who negotiate and ask for what they want-usually get it.
The real issue with asking questions isn’t necessarily the question itself, but the answer. There is a fear that the answer may not favor our initial intention of asking the question. No one wants to be seen as a fool or have a request rejected. As such, we sit in silence never knowing what could have been if we only had the courage to simply ask for what we want. When I finally learned the value of a question, things were revealed to me that I wouldn’t have known otherwise . This new knowledge helped me to drive decisions regarding my life and career. When I had enough guts to ask for what I wanted, I was told “no” which pushed me to keep working towards my goals. However, in 50% or more of these instances, I got exactly what I asked for.
That journey to figuring out my purpose that I discussed earlier in the series has only been made possible because I have been asking lots and lots of questions of myself and others the past few years. I see questions as my foundation and the answers as the sails that are steering my ship.
What about you? What sorts of questions are you asking these days to evaluate your life, career, etc?
Czarina’s Lesson: Even if the answer is “no” there is something to be learned and/or gained from asking for what you want.
by Janine Nicole Dennis | Mar 3, 2015 | Career, Featured, Life
Image Courtesy of Pinterest
Series Introduction
Every year, I like to find a different way of celebrating my favorite day: my birthday. Since I am turning 32 next month (I know…awww…), I’ve decided to share 32 revelations I have had during the course of my life about everything from life in general to business. Think of it as daily inspiration for you and therapy for me. It is a challenge for me, because I don’t think I have ever published a post everyday in the entire existence of The Aristocracy of HR. Plus, I recognize that while I am fairly generous in sharing on social media and here, I have only just scraped the surface on sharing who I am when I’m not pontificating how HR and Business can do better. Let’s use the month of March to get to know one another better. I hope at the end of the month, you walk away with something you can use in your own life or business.
Day 2 of 31- Purpose
I spoke yesterday about my mantra of not spending energy or time on people, situations, or prospects that don’t serve my purpose. I find the concept of purpose an interesting and elusive idea. When we are young, people ask us what we want to be when we grow up and we give an answer based on two possible premises: either we answer based on what we see modeled in others in our family or we answer based on the things we like at that point in our lives. As we get older, there is both this familial and societal push for us to settle in on a vocation that allows us to support ourselves financially. This societal push is perplexing because, we are essentially forced to make a decision about the trajectory of our lives at 17 or 18 years of age never being privy to the one thing that makes all the difference in being successful and enjoying your life: purpose.
In my opinion, this lack of emphasis on living with purpose has caused several generations to meander about the workforce from job to job; and in some cases career to career with no guiding principles for how they can cultivate a meaningful contribution to humanity. No wonder there are plentiful stories of unproductive and disengaged workforces. There’s no surprise that people are sailing through life in a stupor. I know people right now who are 50+ years of age -and are finally discovering the ingredients for living a purposeful life. That’s a long time to have lived, worked and expended energy on people, situations, and activities that don’t connect to the essence of who you are. We all need a focus or an objective in life and work.
Have you ever observed a family member or friend who is getting on in age? Among many things that contribute to their occasional bouts of lashing out and irritability is: losing a sense of purpose. The idea that they are no longer viable or able to be of service is often the result of their mental and physical undoing. The same holds true for people in general- we all just want to be a part of something.
I think we should expose children to the concept of having a purpose for their life. The focus doesn’t have to be linear or based on societal pressures, but it should connect to the things that are at the core of who they are. In the least abstract way, I try to explain to my kids that there is great power in doing what you really love. I understand as a parent that “what they love” maybe fleeting at this stage, but at least they are focusing on what they love in whatever moment they are in. I try to model it through my work so they don’t see me as a product of indecision, but someone who is intentional about the work I do and the life I live. My hope is that this focus evolves as they get older and they start to connect-the-dots in doing the things they are good at and have a passion for.
It isn’t enough to make a ton of money. There has to be something uniquely pleasurable and interesting about the work that we do. The intersection of having money and uniquely pleasurable work is bliss. It may sound crazy, but I have recently dedicated myself to seeking out only the initiatives, causes and work that cause my heart to race. It’s just a happier existence for me and it could be for you.
Czarina’s Lesson: Nobody should care more about how your story gets written, but you. Make sure you are in the driver seat of your life.
by Janine Nicole Dennis | Mar 2, 2015 | Featured, Life, Time Management
Image courtesy of Ink361.com
Every year, I like to find a different way of celebrating my favorite day: my birthday. Since I am turning 32 next month (I know…awww…), I’ve decided to share 32 revelations I have had during the course of my life about everything from life in general to business. Think of it as daily inspiration for you and therapy for me. It is a challenge for me, because I don’t think I have ever published a post everyday in the entire existence of The Aristocracy of HR. Plus, I recognize that while I am fairly generous in sharing on social media and here, I have only just scraped the surface on sharing who I am when I’m not pontificating how HR and Business can do better. Let’s use the month of March to get to know one another better. I hope at the end of the month, you walk away with something you can use in your own life or business.
Day 1 of 31- Time
As a younger person, I have always had a sense of urgency about getting ahead and using time efficiently. I remember being exposed to my first time management class in the 5th grade. From then on, I always operated with the notion that there is a time and place for everything. When my friends were going to chill at a boy’s house in high school, I was hustling to take a bus to go to work. In college, when people I knew were partying and flunking out of school, I was focused on doubling up on classes and establishing my career. I generally always felt like time was fleeting and as such I needed to seize the moments, opportunities and momentum available to me at the time.
Early in my career- when I started to encounter the inevitable flaws of the corporate world, I found myself not being able to stay with one company more than two years. When I encountered a bad boss or unfavorable surroundings, I started pounding the pavement to look for a new job. At the time of my job-hopping, I discussed some of my dislikes and difficulties with one of my grandfathers at the time. He seemed to feel I was somewhat haughty when it came to work. He saw my early career movements as a lack of commitment. I respected that opinion because his lens was that of someone who had worked hard to get to this country in the first place and only knew work as something you did to make a living. In his opinion, it wasn’t supposed to make you happy. He saw “work” as something you committed yourself to. My feeling back then as a 20-something was: commitment to something that didn’t benefit me was “wasting time”. I never feared commitment and don’t now. However, I fear spending my energy on activities, people, and situations that rob me of time I could use to propel my purpose.
What have I learned?
Time is a precious commodity. It is-in my opinion, more precious than money. Time is something you will never get back once it is gone. The best use of time is to act in the present. Personally, I recognize that my futurist approach to time robbed me of some moments both as an adolescent and a young adult that I probably should have spent having more spontaneous experiences and fun. Conversely, I don’t believe I would be where I am today if I didn’t have the sense of urgency to forge ahead professionally as I did in my 20’s.
As an entrepreneur, I continue to assess the value I assign to my time to ensure I am being adequately compensated both in money and in value. I am earnestly trying to shift my past 20-something mindset to one that honors the present moment. Spending time ruminating about the future robs you of the joys, lessons and experiences of the present. As I celebrate another year of life in a few weeks, I am developing a balanced- approach to time. It involves slowing down and smelling the roses- while keeping my sense of urgency keen to capitalizing on the opportunities that come my way. That is time well spent.
Czarina’s Lesson: Live in the present. Plan for the future. Waste time on things that make you happy or help you fulfill your purpose.
How do you approach “time” in your business and life?
