31 Days, 32 Revelations: Knowing When To Move On

Image courtesy of Flickr.com

Image courtesy of Flickr.com

Series Introduction

Every year, I like to find a different way of celebrating my favorite day: my birthday. Since I am turning 32 next month (I know…awww…), I’ve decided to share 32 revelations I have had during the course of my life about everything from life in general to business. Think of it as daily inspiration for you and therapy for me. It is a challenge for me, because I don’t think I have ever published a post everyday in the entire existence of The Aristocracy of HR. Plus, I recognize that while I am fairly generous in sharing on social media and here, I have only just scraped the surface on sharing who I am when I’m not pontificating how HR and Business can do better. Let’s use the month of March to get to know one another better. I hope at the end of the month, you walk away with something you can use in your own life or business.

Day 11 of 31- Knowing When To Move On

Whether it be people, places or things we all need to know when to move on. Moving on is complicated. There’s emotional attachment, complex circumstances that often times impede the process, but nevertheless you have to be able to see when your season is changing or shifting. When I was younger, I saw the signs that let me know it was time to cut something off, but my actions propelled me to hang in there with people and situations that were already moving on. I was outgrowing them and they were outgrowing me and we were essentially trying to make something last past its time.

Case and point, I had a friend in my 20’s that essentially used me. My mom warned me over and over again that she was a user and manipulator. I knew her requests and taking were consistent with my mom’s warning, but I saw my withdrawal from the friendship as me not being a good friend. In time, my life accelerated at the speed of light and she carried on as well, but would pop in and out as it suited her. It was only at the time that I started making room for new people and things in my life-that I finally saw that she was everything my mom said.

So…I pulled back a little and then a little bit more- until suddenly she disappeared completely. In the past seven years, I have heard from her twice. Each time, she has been in turmoil and looking for advice. The moment that I completely knew I was done was when I shared the news of an accolade I achieved last October. I sent a short text to let some of my colleagues and girlfriends know I was in Black Enterprise asking for support. Guess who never had a moment to send well wishes or a congratulations? It’s not important for you to know how I have supported her, but it is necessary that you understand that you must constantly evaluate the people, circumstances and things in your life that are no longer a fit.

I have become more brazen and deliberate in my thirties. The way I manage my relationships and friendships goes a little something like this:  If you are negative, I get rid of you. If you are a taker and never give, I will get rid of you. If I get the sense, that you can only share in my sorrow and not in my joy, I will cut you off. 2006 was the year I started purging my life of people who were no longer a piece to my puzzle. In that time, I have gotten rid of and/or allowed divine intervention to remove approximately 5-6 people who could no longer remain in my circle of trust. In return, I now have a solid group of friends and acquaintances that are aligned with where I am now and where I’m going in the future.

Czarina’s Lesson: There’s a huge world of people and new experiences waiting for you. Don’t hold on to people or situations out of obligation; hold on because they add value.

31 Days, 32 Revelations: Blossoming In Time

Image courtesy of Pixabay

Image courtesy of Pixabay

Series Introduction

Every year, I like to find a different way of celebrating my favorite day: my birthday. Since I am turning 32 next month (I know…awww…), I’ve decided to share 32 revelations I have had during the course of my life about everything from life in general to business. Think of it as daily inspiration for you and therapy for me. It is a challenge for me, because I don’t think I have ever published a post everyday in the entire existence of The Aristocracy of HR. Plus, I recognize that while I am fairly generous in sharing on social media and here, I have only just scraped the surface on sharing who I am when I’m not pontificating how HR and Business can do better. Let’s use the month of March to get to know one another better. I hope at the end of the month, you walk away with something you can use in your own life or business.

Day 10 of 31- Blossoming In Time

I am an impatient being when it comes to achieving my goals. The past few years, I have been researching, developing and working tirelessly to position myself and my business for success. Admittedly, many of my efforts have lead to immediate results. Yet, many other efforts seem to need some more time. The waiting and anticipation of what’s to come is something I am still learning to cope with. At times, I feel like Veruca Salt in Charlie and The Chocolate Factory- “I want it now!”. I promise I’m not a “bad egg”, just really passionate about my work. Understanding that things blossom in time is a lesson I am continuously learning.

There are relationships, connections and discussions I had two or more years ago that are finally coming to fruition now. While it wasn’t comical at the time when I was secretly praying for instant gratification, I get a good chuckle when one of my seeds bloom. My internal dialogue is usually something like: “You’re a wild boy, G-d. It was never about my timeline, but more about providing in time- wasn’t it?”

If you garden, you know when you plant things you have a few potential outcomes:

1) What you plant blooms in season.

2) Some of what you plant doesn’t bloom at all.

3) Your garden flourishes but is somehow compromised by an animal, some anomaly in the soil etc.

The same holds true to any of our efforts. Some are realized now. Some are compromised and others never see the light of day. As an entrepreneur and human, I am learning to be patient with the journey and creative process. Everything looks and feels like punishment in the moment as I lay in wait, but in hindsight I am always grateful for how things turn out. We are all blossoming in time- perfectly crafted and poised to share our gifts when the moment is right.

 

Czarina’s Lesson: Trust and respect your journey. 

 

Here’s a little Friday fun with Veruca Salt’s “I Want it Now” from Charlie and The Chocolate Factory

Translate »
Font Resize