by Janine Nicole Dennis | Mar 9, 2015 | Ask Czarina, Business, Featured, Life
Image courtesy of Quotestagram
Series Introduction
Every year, I like to find a different way of celebrating my favorite day: my birthday. Since I am turning 32 next month (I know…awww…), I’ve decided to share 32 revelations I have had during the course of my life about everything from life in general to business. Think of it as daily inspiration for you and therapy for me. It is a challenge for me, because I don’t think I have ever published a post everyday in the entire existence of The Aristocracy of HR. Plus, I recognize that while I am fairly generous in sharing on social media and here, I have only just scraped the surface on sharing who I am when I’m not pontificating how HR and Business can do better. Let’s use the month of March to get to know one another better. I hope at the end of the month, you walk away with something you can use in your own life or business.
Day 6 of 31- Dishonesty
When I look around I see a barrage of lies at every turn. I don’t know if people are lying more now or if it happened more before my time, but it seems to be a societal epidemic. If it’s not Brian Williams fudging the truth about being in a helicopter that was shot down during the 2003 Iraq invasion- it is the stories like something I heard this morning about a woman who claimed to be raped by a black man. She made the claim and hours later recanted stating that she was not raped by a black man and doesn’t know why she lied. We have attention-obsessed people buying followers on Twitter to make it appear that they are more popular and well-known than they are. There are those on LinkedIn skewing their experience to be seen as experts or more credible in their industries. Don’t get me started on those in business-particularly at the top. People lie. Sometimes it’s harmless and other times harmful.
Think I am just blowing hot air? According to a study conducted by Mattitiyahu Zimbler and Robert S. Feldman of the University of Massachusetts, 49% of leaders felt it was occasionally necessary to lie during a business negotiation. How does that make you feel going into your next business negotiation? It seems the truth is no longer a societal and business imperative, but instead an accessory that we adorn ourselves with when we choose.
As a society we have decided that there is a convenient time and place for truth. Some will contend that there are instances where withholding the truth is beneficial to a person or group of people. For instance, heads of states don’t report every threat that they receive to the public. To do so, serves no purpose for them and as for society they would be creating chaos and speculation for nothing. Instead, they often report the threats that are credible and pose imminent danger to the public. Is this dishonest? Well yes, telling the truth would mean they would tell us everything in the moment as it happens. When I worked in Corporate America, it seemed dishonesty was rampant. Leadership would say there was no money for raises, but you would find out Jim and Jennie got bumped up $10,000. There would be whispers of a layoff and if you asked anyone in leadership they would say “no”-only to have a memo about a reduction-in-force sent to all employees several weeks down the line.
In my humble opinion, people should be upfront and truthful with one another. For some people, knowing that others lie to get ahead creates a false sense that they should do the same. This leads to people being leery of anyone or anything prior to evaluating it for credibility and validity.
My real issue is with deception. Deception is quite different from lying. It is defined as a deliberate withholding of information, so that the full truth of something is not revealed. In the case of Brian Williams, the issue is he has been entrusted to report the facts as a journalist. Secondly, the 2003 Iraq Invasion is a sore spot. Many families lost loved ones and we are all still paying for its enormous price tag. Given all of these facts, it was incredibly irresponsible and inconsiderate of him to make the claim he did. With the 20-year-old white woman who claimed to be raped by black man, not only did she waste police resources that could have been used elsewhere- she could have sent an innocent person to jail with her stupidity. In both cases, there was an intention to deceive others. Perhaps, some subconscious want to be revered and/or pitied was at play as well. It just seems to me that there should be repercussions to deceit.
None of us are perfect. I believe being deceitful or telling half-truths should not be part our moral fiber. I don’t wake up every morning conjuring up ways that I can lie to get ahead in life or business. Ultimately, I understand that anything I stand to earn while lying about my capabilities would be rewarded only in the short-term. I’m not sure what should become of Brian Williams or this woman, but I know that the old saying: what’s done in the dark, eventually comes to light is true. I just wished more people realized it and attempted to live with more integrity than what I see going on.
Czarina’s Lesson: True longevity and trust comes when you serve up the real deal.
by Janine Nicole Dennis | Mar 6, 2015 | Ask Czarina, Entrepreneur, Featured, Life
Series Introduction
Every year, I like to find a different way of celebrating my favorite day: my birthday. Since I am turning 32 next month (I know…awww…), I’ve decided to share 32 revelations I have had during the course of my life about everything from life in general to business. Think of it as daily inspiration for you and therapy for me. It is a challenge for me, because I don’t think I have ever published a post everyday in the entire existence of The Aristocracy of HR. Plus, I recognize that while I am fairly generous in sharing on social media and here, I have only just scraped the surface on sharing who I am when I’m not pontificating how HR and Business can do better. Let’s use the month of March to get to know one another better. I hope at the end of the month, you walk away with something you can use in your own life or business.
Day 5 of 31- A Little Bit of Faith
When I took the leap of faith into the world of entrepreneurship, it was not a decision I made overnight. I literally spent a year and a half trying to find someone in my circle of trust to talk me out of this gnawing urge I had to break free of the corporate shackles. Ever time I spoke to someone about my plan or what I was going through at work, they would say: “it’s time to go, Janine.” I must have heard over ten or more times from mentors and colleagues, “you are looking a for a right time to do this and it will never come”.
I’d like to think I am a spiritual woman. I believe in the power of choice and decisions, but I cannot deny the concept of fate. This idea that everyone has a path that is already paved for them is both wild and mysterious. For over a year, whether I read a scripture, my horoscope or spoke to someone- it seemed there were signs everywhere leading me out of my day job and into my business. I’d read my horoscope and it would tell me have faith. I would speak to someone and they would reassure me that things would be fine when I take this leap. Initially, I intended to stay in my job until June of 2015- I had a whole plan in place and I expected it would work. When I verbalized this to colleagues and friends- they said you’re not going to make it. After being out on maternity leave, I revised my plan to December. Again the message was- you won’t make it to December.
When opportunity knocks…
Here’s the crazy thing, I never made it to December. I resigned at the end of September 2014. Even within that plan, I intended to give eight weeks because I was on a high visibility project and wanted to see my previous employer through. Due to lots of nonsense and backlash surrounding my resignation, I started to rethink my generous eight week notice, but I hung in there. I never made it to the eighth week. I happened upon an event happening in NYC surrounding the future of work and merely inquired. Next thing I knew, I was an invited attendee and I moved my last day up. Remember my initial plan of remaining one more year? It was never meant for me to make it. Shortly after putting in my resignation, I found out the day care I had my two little ones in at my previous employer was going up 30%. I also found out that they would be breaking up our team and transitioning each of us into new roles. The daycare tuition hike alone would have caused me to leave; but then I had an innocent conversation with someone connected to the daycare. This person informed me that my children were being underserved for the money I was already paying. I don’t believe I would have been told this before my resignation. The resignation became the corridor to Pandora’s Box as more and more things started to be revealed to me.
Faith over Fear
I tell you this because I was scared to death of my dreams. Being able to be home with my kids and run a business was a synergy I wanted and needed in the worst way. My journey has been fairly linear until now, because I like to have control over what happens next. I never really have control, but I have always controlled what I could. Having faith and courage to do something I couldn’t entirely envision kept me up at night and made me nervous. I conjured up the worst possible thoughts in my head about the potential for failing and the impact to my family. Even after I took the leap of faith, I spent weeks questioning my decision.
Everything happens for a reason
What I have found five months into this new journey, is the potential for failing, the hardships and sacrifices are far better risks to take than remaining in a situation where your fire is being extinguished daily. None of my fears mattered. What was missing was my faith. Some days I had more faith than others. Having just a little faith has catapulted me into a life and career that far exceeds any plans or expectations I had. I could be crazy, but it felt like my friends, family, colleagues, horoscope and everything else was speaking to me at the precise time I needed them to. All of the signs and subtle pushes were intentional messages from on high to get me where I am today. It hasn’t been an easy road, but I am thankful for the divine intervention that has guided my journey so far.
Czarina’s Lesson: A little bit of faith can take you a long way.
by Janine Nicole Dennis | Mar 5, 2015 | Ask Czarina, Business, Featured, Life, Society and HR, Women's Rights
Series Introduction
Every year, I like to find a different way of celebrating my favorite day: my birthday. Since I am turning 32 next month (I know…awww…), I’ve decided to share 32 revelations I have had during the course of my life about everything from life in general to business. Think of it as daily inspiration for you and therapy for me. It is a challenge for me, because I don’t think I have ever published a post everyday in the entire existence of The Aristocracy of HR. Plus, I recognize that while I am fairly generous in sharing on social media and here, I have only just scraped the surface on sharing who I am when I’m not pontificating how HR and Business can do better. Let’s use the month of March to get to know one another better. I hope at the end of the month, you walk away with something you can use in your own life or business.
Day 4 of 31- Silent Sentinel
March 3rd, 1913 a woman by the name of Alice Paul organized a woman’s suffrage parade of more than 5,000 women participants from every state in the union. This wasn’t just any day, it was President Wilson’s first inauguration. It wasn’t your typical parade, Paul and the participants were marching in the name of woman’s suffrage. Onlookers assaulted the marchers which very quickly escalated to a volatile situation.
Four years later, Alice Paul broke away from the National American Women’s Suffrage Association (NAWSA) to form a more radical delegation of women’s rights activists called the National Women’s Party (NWP). It was also during that time that she assembled the “Silent Sentinels” to protest President Wilson’s ongoing lack of support for women’s suffrage. As pictured above, these women asked the obvious questions: “how long must liberty wait and “what will you do for women’s suffrage”.
Why is this important?
This moment in history verifies what I have been saying in previous posts- when you choose awareness and action over ignorance and inaction- it is a problem. Alice Paul and her fellow suffragists were attacked while police officers pretended not to see the attacks and then they were arrested and put away for seven months. I note that when the NYPD and Ferguson had the center stage last year, I did not choose silence over what I knew, I spoke up and called them out – namely the administration for having a poor system and and even worse practices. As a wife to a detective and someone who grew up with the NYPD, I felt there was no one better to talk about the real issues that were causing the civil unrest than me. In return, I had several men chime in. One said that they hoped for my husband’s sake that I was “hot” and that I must be an “A-1 ball-buster at home”. Another exclaimed ” who is this chick that thinks she knows the NYPD and how to fix the issues- she hasn’t a clue.”
Like Alice Paul, these men found my rhetoric and disposition to be “unladylike” and “radical”. In 2015, it is still the opinion of many men that a woman should know her place. I should be seen and not heard. Since I have an opinion, I must automatically drive my husband insane. If the latter is true, the only way the relationship could be worth it (according to these guys) is if I were “hot”. It is not only pathetic but sad, that I even have this as an anecdote to share.
Here’s the facts: I don’t bust balls for folly, but I certainly will-if warranted. I am allowed to have an opinion and feel empowered to speak up, if I choose. I am very much a lady and also radical when the spirit moves me. I don’t take kindly to anyone telling me when and how I should react. I am confident in my skin and operate on these premises, because my father (a man) constantly drilled me on the importance of being independent and strong. I’ve seen what hair twirling, flirting and “lady-like” behavior gets women in the boardroom. You get smirks, raised eyebrows and side-eye from the women witnessing a weak attempt of a fellow woman trying to be seen as worthy and viable. I simply wish that as women we could just show up unapologetically and be accepted for what we bring to the table.
In conclusion, the men that were spewing this stuff had never been schooled on social media 101 apparently. As such, it never occurred to them that the thread they were bashing me on would be seen by my dad. I can tell you that no matter how old a woman gets, no father takes kindly to people speaking ill of their daughter. My dad had a field day with one of them-to which this gentleman agreed he was in the wrong for making assumptions about who I was because he didn’t like my opinion. While I can’t be sure if these men were truly sorry or just sorry that the father of the conspirator caught them in the act, This situation and others ensure that I will continue to speak out in the future.
The time for women to be paid equitably, treated fairly , and regarded as the awesome human beings we are is now. Alice Paul was fighting this fight over 96 years ago, isn’t it time?
Czarina’s Lesson: When it comes to the fight for civil liberties, what is old is new and what is new is old. There’s no true liberty until everyone is afforded the same opportunities and rights.
by Janine Nicole Dennis | Mar 4, 2015 | Ask Czarina, Featured, Life
Image Courtesy of QuotesWave.com
Series Introduction
Every year, I like to find a different way of celebrating my favorite day: my birthday. Since I am turning 32 next month (I know…awww…), I’ve decided to share 32 revelations I have had during the course of my life about everything from life in general to business. Think of it as daily inspiration for you and therapy for me. It is a challenge for me, because I don’t think I have ever published a post everyday in the entire existence of The Aristocracy of HR. Plus, I recognize that while I am fairly generous in sharing on social media and here, I have only just scraped the surface on sharing who I am when I’m not pontificating how HR and Business can do better. Let’s use the month of March to get to know one another better. I hope at the end of the month, you walk away with something you can use in your own life or business.
Day 3 of 31- The Distraction of Ignorance
I find most people are distracted. Distracted by their bills, worries, jobs, health problems etc. I get those distractions. It’s hard to focus on other things when you have a heavy deck of cards on the table and they have to be dealt with. What I don’t get is distraction to the point of ignorance. It’s an intentional distraction from anything and everything that truly matters. This permanent vacation many people are taking from being cognizant of the injustices experienced by others, the manipulation of circumstances and situations to advance political agendas, wars, blatant discrimination is astounding.
I wrote some articles about race relations between the end of last year and the earlier part of this year, because my heart was heavy. While my focus is generally business, HR and all things talent management, I could not sit on the sidelines and not say something about the ignorance that is so prevalent in this country. I felt I had a duty to speak up and I felt comfortable with what I wrote, because I was aware. I was aware of what was going on, the situations, the people involved. the timeline for how an entire country ended up at odds over race. So, I came here and to my LinkedIn blog and wrote about what I was seeing and offered some suggestions for how we begin to solve these race relations and civil liberty issues.
In return, I had a slew of people providing half-ass summaries of the events that took place. There were some that even had the nerve to make generalizations about blacks on my thread and had no data to back it. I’ll share some of what was said in a future post, but the point is we have become a society of distracted, opinionated simpletons that jump on and off of bandwagons surrounding critical issues -without having the decency to be knowledgeable about the issues at hand. Just today, I read a thread of a friend on Facebook where a gentleman made the comment that “all adults that are making minimum wage are worthless”. He backed this assertion by saying: “if you’re struggling with a minimum wage job, you went wrong somewhere.” I don’t have to tell you that all of those making minimum wage and otherwise pounced on him pretty well. In his mind, there is no possible way that a recession, elimination and outsourcing of jobs, or socio-economic marginalization could be variables contributing to this recent epidemic. Surely, all people surviving this way are just inept and worthless.
You can be ignorant and humble-in that you recognize and accept what you don’t know. However, when you are arrogantly making generalizations and assertions about people, cultures, situations, experiences- you are not only unrealistic but dangerous. The strength of any society is in its people being aware and participating citizens. I see a lot of people tired of the ignorance, but I see many more participating in the privilege of being distracted and ignorant.
You may wonder if I am concerned with the impression prospective clients, colleagues, or people in general have of me when I address these issues. The truth is every time I tackle a controversial issue, I am not looking for concurrence but constructive dialogue. Anyone shooting from the hip, without facts, data or a nary a personal experience related to the issue is certainly not anyone I would do business or break bread with.
Czarina’s Lesson: Ignorance is bliss until you find knowledge. Investigate before you pontificate.
by Janine Nicole Dennis | Mar 3, 2015 | Career, Featured, Life
Image Courtesy of Pinterest
Series Introduction
Every year, I like to find a different way of celebrating my favorite day: my birthday. Since I am turning 32 next month (I know…awww…), I’ve decided to share 32 revelations I have had during the course of my life about everything from life in general to business. Think of it as daily inspiration for you and therapy for me. It is a challenge for me, because I don’t think I have ever published a post everyday in the entire existence of The Aristocracy of HR. Plus, I recognize that while I am fairly generous in sharing on social media and here, I have only just scraped the surface on sharing who I am when I’m not pontificating how HR and Business can do better. Let’s use the month of March to get to know one another better. I hope at the end of the month, you walk away with something you can use in your own life or business.
Day 2 of 31- Purpose
I spoke yesterday about my mantra of not spending energy or time on people, situations, or prospects that don’t serve my purpose. I find the concept of purpose an interesting and elusive idea. When we are young, people ask us what we want to be when we grow up and we give an answer based on two possible premises: either we answer based on what we see modeled in others in our family or we answer based on the things we like at that point in our lives. As we get older, there is both this familial and societal push for us to settle in on a vocation that allows us to support ourselves financially. This societal push is perplexing because, we are essentially forced to make a decision about the trajectory of our lives at 17 or 18 years of age never being privy to the one thing that makes all the difference in being successful and enjoying your life: purpose.
In my opinion, this lack of emphasis on living with purpose has caused several generations to meander about the workforce from job to job; and in some cases career to career with no guiding principles for how they can cultivate a meaningful contribution to humanity. No wonder there are plentiful stories of unproductive and disengaged workforces. There’s no surprise that people are sailing through life in a stupor. I know people right now who are 50+ years of age -and are finally discovering the ingredients for living a purposeful life. That’s a long time to have lived, worked and expended energy on people, situations, and activities that don’t connect to the essence of who you are. We all need a focus or an objective in life and work.
Have you ever observed a family member or friend who is getting on in age? Among many things that contribute to their occasional bouts of lashing out and irritability is: losing a sense of purpose. The idea that they are no longer viable or able to be of service is often the result of their mental and physical undoing. The same holds true for people in general- we all just want to be a part of something.
I think we should expose children to the concept of having a purpose for their life. The focus doesn’t have to be linear or based on societal pressures, but it should connect to the things that are at the core of who they are. In the least abstract way, I try to explain to my kids that there is great power in doing what you really love. I understand as a parent that “what they love” maybe fleeting at this stage, but at least they are focusing on what they love in whatever moment they are in. I try to model it through my work so they don’t see me as a product of indecision, but someone who is intentional about the work I do and the life I live. My hope is that this focus evolves as they get older and they start to connect-the-dots in doing the things they are good at and have a passion for.
It isn’t enough to make a ton of money. There has to be something uniquely pleasurable and interesting about the work that we do. The intersection of having money and uniquely pleasurable work is bliss. It may sound crazy, but I have recently dedicated myself to seeking out only the initiatives, causes and work that cause my heart to race. It’s just a happier existence for me and it could be for you.
Czarina’s Lesson: Nobody should care more about how your story gets written, but you. Make sure you are in the driver seat of your life.
by Janine Nicole Dennis | Mar 2, 2015 | Featured, Life, Time Management
Image courtesy of Ink361.com
Every year, I like to find a different way of celebrating my favorite day: my birthday. Since I am turning 32 next month (I know…awww…), I’ve decided to share 32 revelations I have had during the course of my life about everything from life in general to business. Think of it as daily inspiration for you and therapy for me. It is a challenge for me, because I don’t think I have ever published a post everyday in the entire existence of The Aristocracy of HR. Plus, I recognize that while I am fairly generous in sharing on social media and here, I have only just scraped the surface on sharing who I am when I’m not pontificating how HR and Business can do better. Let’s use the month of March to get to know one another better. I hope at the end of the month, you walk away with something you can use in your own life or business.
Day 1 of 31- Time
As a younger person, I have always had a sense of urgency about getting ahead and using time efficiently. I remember being exposed to my first time management class in the 5th grade. From then on, I always operated with the notion that there is a time and place for everything. When my friends were going to chill at a boy’s house in high school, I was hustling to take a bus to go to work. In college, when people I knew were partying and flunking out of school, I was focused on doubling up on classes and establishing my career. I generally always felt like time was fleeting and as such I needed to seize the moments, opportunities and momentum available to me at the time.
Early in my career- when I started to encounter the inevitable flaws of the corporate world, I found myself not being able to stay with one company more than two years. When I encountered a bad boss or unfavorable surroundings, I started pounding the pavement to look for a new job. At the time of my job-hopping, I discussed some of my dislikes and difficulties with one of my grandfathers at the time. He seemed to feel I was somewhat haughty when it came to work. He saw my early career movements as a lack of commitment. I respected that opinion because his lens was that of someone who had worked hard to get to this country in the first place and only knew work as something you did to make a living. In his opinion, it wasn’t supposed to make you happy. He saw “work” as something you committed yourself to. My feeling back then as a 20-something was: commitment to something that didn’t benefit me was “wasting time”. I never feared commitment and don’t now. However, I fear spending my energy on activities, people, and situations that rob me of time I could use to propel my purpose.
What have I learned?
Time is a precious commodity. It is-in my opinion, more precious than money. Time is something you will never get back once it is gone. The best use of time is to act in the present. Personally, I recognize that my futurist approach to time robbed me of some moments both as an adolescent and a young adult that I probably should have spent having more spontaneous experiences and fun. Conversely, I don’t believe I would be where I am today if I didn’t have the sense of urgency to forge ahead professionally as I did in my 20’s.
As an entrepreneur, I continue to assess the value I assign to my time to ensure I am being adequately compensated both in money and in value. I am earnestly trying to shift my past 20-something mindset to one that honors the present moment. Spending time ruminating about the future robs you of the joys, lessons and experiences of the present. As I celebrate another year of life in a few weeks, I am developing a balanced- approach to time. It involves slowing down and smelling the roses- while keeping my sense of urgency keen to capitalizing on the opportunities that come my way. That is time well spent.
Czarina’s Lesson: Live in the present. Plan for the future. Waste time on things that make you happy or help you fulfill your purpose.
How do you approach “time” in your business and life?
