Three Steps to Finding Success Through Clarity

Image courtesy of Flickr.com

Image courtesy of Flickr.com

I’ve been having a lot of conversations with friends, family and colleagues about where I am currently and where all my efforts are headed. Young adults everywhere are charged with deciding at the ripe age of 17 what they want to do with their lives. In my case, it was expressed in choose a college and degree field. Make sure it is something that “makes sense and cents”.  I assume like most young adults now, I was supposed to be clear about what my life goals were. So long as I was clear on my choice, it was my charge to make a reasonable decision on the next steps thereafter. I’ll say that I did my best.

The issue was I didn’t have a definition for what clarity meant.  What I thought was “clarity” was really me blindly walking on a mirage of a straight line to career success. I was finding my way, but I was also doing the status quo. While I have no regrets about the journey so far, I am well-aware that I lacked some imagination in envisioning my future.  I’ve come to realize that the lack of imagination I had was directly tied a lack of clarity I had around what my heart truly desired. It made total sense. How does one imagine potential and greatness with precision if they are fuzzy on what success looks like? It simply cannot be done.  To be honest, it isn’t totally true that I was unclear, but I will own that I was superficially-clear. Anytime you are carefully balancing what you want with the opinions and criticisms of others you are going to come up short.

It gets boring and tiring to always be following the rules…my advice…break all the damn rules and smile doing it.

The past few years in business have reconfigured me in such a way that I had to become crystal clear on what I wanted for my life. Notice I didn’t say my “career”. You see, once I got clear on the life I wanted to live it became easy to infuse my career pursuits and business with the morals, standards values and mantras I live by daily. It pushed me to create a lane that was unique to me. As a result, I became emboldened and empowered to defy all of the so-called rules that were working against me. Having this level of clarity has not only been exciting, but freeing.

Here are three benefits I have experienced since becoming clear about the direction of my life and career:

1) I learned to say “no” often, without apology, and with confidence. I say “no” to business, to people I no longer need to be associated with; and to situations and circumstances that aren’t mutually beneficial to me or the other person. In other words, I do what I want, change course as needed and do so without saying “sorry”. Giving up saying “sorry” for living life on your terms is a hard habit to kick, but I have worked at it. When you aren’t clear, everything seems like something you should latch onto. I know now that I don’t need to do everything or know everyone — it’s all about finding the synergy in things.

2) Shiny objects, fads, “what everyone else is doing” doesn’t move me. I have long been a creature who is seldom moved and unbothered by the pomp and circumstance of others. However, I would be lying if I said I have never compared myself to others. It is what makes us human. I have been diligent in focusing on my own lawn. While I certainly keep a pulse on what is going on, I do my best not to get wrapped up in what everyone else is doing ( i.e. fads, best practices, shiny objects etc.). In the long run, it doesn’t have any bearing on what you are doing anyway. Not to mention, that unhealthy doses of comparison robs you of being able to be grateful for your own progress.

3) My brand and I are in the flow. My message, my brand and what I stand for are so much clearer now that I have clarity around the overall goal. I have spent the past few years rethinking and figuring out what I like, what I want my legacy to be about and making it a reality. I’ve come to realize less is more and sometimes the brand is simply the journey so far. Life in action. I’m essentially just working hard at living my best life.

Success is subjective and what you make it. If you haven’t achieved success in a way that is meaningful for you it is likely because you haven’t done the internal work required to give you the clarity you need to make the right moves. Make the time to think about where you are and where you want to be. Then, go for it.

I am growing a little community on Instagram called: Growth on my Terms. If you are looking for inspiration from everyday people on success, life and moving through challenges be sure to check it out and join the conversation: www.instagram.com/growthonmyterms.

Ask Czarina Live: Is Social Media Destroying Lives?

Ask Czarina Live Promo

 

There’s lots of buzz lately about the effects of social media use on children as well as adults. In the span of 2-3 weeks, I have encountered two stories of social influencers who are no longer interested in “keeping up appearances” on social media. In both instances, social media drove two young women to do things that they felt they wouldn’t have done otherwise.

The first of two stories is coined by a young woman who goes by the name: “Jasmine”. The name of her article is: “My ‘Perfect’ Life On Social Media Is Putting Me In Debt”. “Jasmine” recently admitted to going into debt while attempting to maintain her social persona on Instagram. Although she cites that her life is rather mundane, she paid handsomely to portray a more luxurious lifestyle than she currently lives in real life. Her social exploits have gotten so out of hand that she expressed some trepidation in sharing what she has done with her parents.

In a more recent instance, Essena O’Neill makes a bold statement saying that social media is an “illusion”. Essena goes onto share that she was often consumed by the need to accumulate “likes and views” and as such began to measure her self-worth by these means. She is now launching a call-to-action for other teens and people to become “game-changers” instead of a bunch of made-up online personas.

Without giving away to much, my opinion is: there are key concepts that contribute to this illusion that social media is destroying lives. The first concept is: everything should be done in moderation- especially social media. To be fair,  there is nothing “moderate” about being a social influencer. However, it is completely up to you to figure out what your cadence should be on social media. The second concept is: is it the tool or the operator of the tool who is to blame in this argument?

In this episode I will share the following:

  • Is social media evil or is the operator at fault?
  • The difficulty I have in understanding this new age of vanity.
  • It’s time to separate fact from fiction with regard to social media.
  • Getting social influencing right from the start.

I don’t know that we will reach a verdict on the evils of social media, but I am hoping to have some great dialogue on this topic. Join me on Thursday at 11pm EST/10pm CST/8pm PST for “Ask Czarina Live”.

A friendly reminder:  I promised you that I would be posting the replays of “Ask Czarina Live” to “The Aristocracy of HR” You Tube Channel for those of you not ready to take the Periscope plunge. Unfortunately, Periscope has a bug that is preventing my broadcasts from properly being saved in my gallery, so I am currently unable to share my shows in both places. They are working on it and I will let you know when I am able to do it. For now, you can continue to view replays on Periscope, within the 24-hour window allotted,

As usual it will be fun, fresh, and insightful. I look forward to seeing you there.

Want more? Click here to watch the latest “Ask Czarina” episode. Subscribe to “The Aristocracy of HR” You Tube Channel to be notified when new episodes are published.

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